'I clung onto the very existance of him'

He was always there for me, through the thick and thin. Cliché I know. But it was true. There were times and he stopped me from harming myself. Stop the pills from being swallowed, whispering words into my ear until my tears absorbed into his sweater and dried. I clung onto the very existence of him, he was the reason I was living.
Until he became the reason why I wanted to stop living. I drowned in my own misery and tears, staying up until I couldn’t tell the difference between night and day. I wanted him with me. I missed the way his grin would make my heart ache, the way his eyes stared into my soul.
But that can’t happen anymore. A person with ‘too much baggage’ was too much of a hassle to care for. Too much of a hassle to love for. With pills in one hand and water in the water, I thought of him one last time and smiled. Without him, I wouldn’t have known what it felt to be loved, even if it was for a short time. 
So I mentally thanked him. Then I physically swallowed.
Fin.