To the greatest love of my life (so far),
it would've marked our 4th anniversary last week totalling 5 years together. I like to stop and think if anything would've changed with time, if the way we loved each other slowly melted into the compatibility we freshly started with. I hear about you from time to time, whispers of my past life brushing past like the breeze and i freeze with a lot of emotions.
I wonder how you are doing, if you are achieving everything you whispered to me as we talked about our dreams at 2am. That all the effort you put into your career is paying off. but the things I've heard makes me glad that you decided to pull the plug on us. I know I would've stayed. That I would've stupidly held your hand as you cried about all your bad decisions. I would've supported you as my heart kept breaking and even though we are over I've noticed a lot of our horrible habits in our relationship hanging around.
I'm actually unsure if the habits I've grown familiar with are portrayed negatively in a truly healthy relationship. Maybe because the new one doesn't stay over, but I'm so used to just snuggling up to my safe and comfort person after a long day of work and sleeping. I'm unsure about everything in the situation I am in now but I know I am happier here than I was before. I know you loved the way you were taught but there was just so much hurt and pain that we both caused each other.
I wonder if this is the last letter I will ever write to you,
I hope you are happy because despite everything I am trying to be.
