You posted her,
Honestly shaken up, not upset because I’m being treated with all the love, kindness and patience in the world. However this is a “if he wanted to he would.” If you wanted to you would’ve made this work, you would’ve done everything I wish you did.
I’m happy for her because she doesn’t have to go through the pain and suffering I did. I hope you’re doing well and that you have fought all the demons you struggled with.
8 months in.
It’s raining here today, and I miss you. It’s so stupid that I’m sitting here crying over a photo of you sleeping so peacefully. Why did we have to stop what we had, I love you so much it drives me crazy still. You are the love of my life it’s not fair. Why did you leave me??
7 months and I’ve feel like I’ve taken so many steps without you. In a sense I believe that you just didn’t know to love me. That I put you on a pedestal and saw potential. But that potential was my delusion, and it was how I would love myself if I was you.
You have loved, supported and helped me a lot in your own way and I appreciate and valued you every second. But I read somewhere that all the hurt and resentment builds up inside you, that all your half hearted apologies will never heal me because deep down you kept doing it over and over again. And you keep rolling your eyes and saying it’s so long ago, why do you keep bringing it up? Women recall emotional events better than men, I experience the emotion of the memory the same way that I did when it first happened. My heart keeps dropping and honestly there’s just so many triggers where I’ve cried next to you or in a restaurant bathroom because I’ve suddenly gone back to that moment in our lives. I remember how I felt when I asked for an apology and you smiled sarcastically at me. Or how I felt when I read the horrible things you have said about me.
